


Where I Belong

by Fulcrumisthebomb



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smut, minor spoilers for Iron Bull romance, minor spoilers for beginning of DAI
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 06:41:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2803172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fulcrumisthebomb/pseuds/Fulcrumisthebomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adaar is too human for Tal-Vashoth, too Tal-Vashoth for Qunari, and too Qunari for the rest- yet he's none of those. Struggling with the new title of Inquisitor just complicates matters; but there's one place Adaar will always belong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where I Belong

**Author's Note:**

> I was fascinated by the backstory for Qunari Inquisitors. Raised by humans (or in human culture) and running with a Tal-Vashoth merc band; how would that affect how they saw themselves, and what they saw reflected in others? I had to explore that idea, and how that wrapped around Iron Bull's romance with him.
> 
> My Adaar was raised by human parents after being orphaned as a very young child.

Before the sky had been ripped open, having a visitor announced both surprised and delighted Kaaras. Usually that had meant his sister had been traveling through the northern areas the Valo-Kas called home; there was no better feeling in the world than to be hugged by a human less than twice his height with his sister's perpetual enthusiasm. She often hoarded hardened candies their mother had made through the winter to share, and Kaaras proudly wore the dark grey scarves his diminutive Petunia made- she was overly fond of bright colours, which were beautiful but too easily gave away his position in a fight. It had taken him nearly a year of letters to convince her he couldn't wear anything flashy.

Now, with the lingering memory of the Breach and countless rifts left scattered across Thedas, Kaaras felt the burden of command tug each time a visitor was brought to his attention. New shipments, new soldiers, new merchants, new refugees. Cullen and his men shouldered a great deal of checking over whatever walked through the gate, but Kaaras was ultimately responsible for overseeing new recruits and supplies. He had  _made_ it his responsibility, despite his advisor's gentle protests.

"Visitor for you, ser."

Kaaras hid his sigh, nodding at the messenger with a smile. As much as he liked to joke, he actually  _had_ planned on a quick nap between straining his eyes over the war table today. "Where are they?"

"By the stables, ser." The man offered a sly smile of his own. "Master Dennet is fussing over the 'ratty nag' he rode in on."

"Oh, this should be fun," Kaaras laughed, dropping a hand on the messenger's shoulder in thanks before running through the hall at a light jog. The crisp air hit his lungs with a rush, making him grimace as he hurried down the stone steps. He had considered winter in the northern Free Marches to be too cool for comfort; he lamented his ignorance of what  _true_ cold felt like. 

He was grumbling curses to himself as he rounded the corner, then nearly stumbled over his own feet when a familiar sight greeted him. The exact curve of the long, elegant horns had been seared into his memory years ago, when he'd been much younger and frightened to be so far from home. Not to mention the broad chest and legs wrapped in carefully polished leather- those lines he knew just as well as his own.

" _Sarevok?_ " Kaaras yelled as he ran forward. The Qunari rounded from where he'd been gesturing wildly at Dennet, the ferocious frown melting into a bright smile. "What are you doing here?!"

"I could ask the same of you," Sarevok laughed, bracing himself for Kaaras' running lunge at him. "Why are you holed up in this damnable hell? I'm  _completely_ frozen. I don't know if I'll ever get it up again after this."

Kaaras snorted, amused as he pulled back from his tight embrace. Sarevok looked the same as ever, dark skin smoothed over taut muscle and bone, though the sharp angles of his face were broken by several new scars. Sarevok was his first and dearest friend outside his family; the elder Qunari had taken it upon himself to be Kaaras' mentor when he'd first joined, teaching the ignorant youngster everything from archery to politics to sex. It had been many months since he'd seen Sarevok, just before he'd volunteered for the Conclave mission, and that time apart had felt like years instead. "I know the feeling, old friend. Come inside where it's warmer."

"You're  _not_ leaving on this pitiful creature," Dennet huffed after them, petting the side of a drooping horse next to him. "She needs rest and food. A replacement will be provided  _if_ your large friend promises to not ride them to death too."

"Yes, of course. I leave her in your excellent care," Kaaras nodded reassuringly at the human. Dennet was a quiet sort, and one of Kaaras's favourite people to work alongside when he needed a rest, but the dark human could be vicious when around his charges. "Thank you, Master Dennet."

" _Hmph_."

"Come," Kaaras repeated, linking his arm with his fellow Qunari's and dragging them toward the main hall. "Why are you here? How is the company doing? The last report was some time ago-,"

"I know, and that's partly why I'm here," Sarevok grinned, displaying twin rows of filed teeth. "With the help you sent, we could afford to donate some supplies to the Inquisition- and me, if you want," he added with a softer smile. 

"Do I ever!" Kaaras exclaimed, punching Sarevok's shoulder lightly, before dropping his voice. "It's been one headache after another trying to talk to all these humans and elves."

"I can imagine," Sarevok murmured, pausing to whistle as they reached the top of the long stairway, his gaze roaming over the interior battlements. "Impressive."

"See that balcony?" Kaaras pointed upwards. "That's my own room, you  _must_ see it, c'mon. They went crazy decorating it, I've never lived in such luxury!" He tugged his friend through the hall, ignoring the scandalised glances of the few visiting nobles. "There's only one other Qunari here," he added quietly, tilting his head toward Sarevok. "And even then, he lives under the Qun." 

Kaaras' smile disappeared as he watched Sarevok's eyes narrow at the word and immediately regretted bringing it up at all. Even if The Iron Bull was Tal-Vashoth now, it wasn't his place to bandy that about, especially when Bull still seemed upset when he thought no one could see him. And Sarevok... his departure from the Qun had been the most bloody of all those in the Valo-Kas, something his friend had told tales of repeatedly over wine and a large campfire.

"Then you've been in poor company," Sarevok replied in a clipped tone, one Kaaras knew well.

"Not entirely," Kaaras countered softly. Perhaps later, once he and Sarevok were warm and loose with drink, he could explain the surprising comfort he'd found in Bull's arms. The tighter the bonds- literally and figuratively- between he and Bull, the more  _free_ he felt, which still confused him if he pondered their relationship for too long. Kaaras had always thought he'd end up with a youngest son of some minor human noble; or perhaps- in one of his wild midnight fantasies- he would lay in the arms of a talented Orlesian bard, tired of The Game and ready to spend his fortunes travelling the world with his newfound love.

In fact, if he hadn't thrown himself so readily at Bull's thick chest, Kaaras figured he'd probably be sleeping at Dorian's side by now. Imagine the eyebrows  _that_ would raise. At least with he and Bull, the humans apparently considered it 'acceptable' as they were of the same race, when in reality they were as different as-

A warm hand sliding up his back brought Kaaras crashing to the present, freezing at the familiar gesture. He deftly stepped aside, waving his friend into the small alcove that led to his suite. "Sorry, I was woolgathering."

"Nice to see you haven't changed," Sarevok chuckled as he moved past, then waited for Kaaras to catch up. "I was... worried about that, actually."

"Me? Change? No," Kaaras scoffed. "I've only sealed the Breach, stared down an Archdemon and been voted Inquisitor since I saw you last. Oh, and some people have it in their heads I'm a holy prophet of Andraste because of this blasted rip of magic in my hand."

"And so modest, too." 

Kaaras barked a laugh, shaking his head as he leaned onto Sarevok's shoulder. "It's been madness," he admitted quietly. "I know I need to be at the centre of all this and I don't regret it, but I've been aching to see you- ask you about all this. You've always made sense of the world."

A strong arm wrapped around Kaaras' shoulders, hugging him close as Sarevok bent to rest their foreheads together. "And this is the other reason I came," Sarevok whispered, tilting Kaaras' head up until their eyes met. "I wanted to tell you I finally understand."

"Oh?" Kaaras tried to step back, but was held fast against his friend's chest. "Understand what?"

"I was in the group of hostages your forces freed recently," Sarevok continued, wrinkling his nose. "Until your soldiers and the rest of the Valo-Kas arrived, I had plenty of time in the dark to sit and think over everything you've told me. It was when I thought I might not live to see you again that it slotted into place."

Kaaras straightened, pushing lightly to put some space between them. He was startled to find Sarevok's hands chasing his face, settling gently along his jaw. "What did?"

"You kept trying to teach me, for years," Sarevok whispered, frowning as he leaned in again. "I finally understand your idea of human love."

Kaaras backpedaled immediately, though he quickly ran out of space as his back met the stone wall. "I wasn't trying to teach you- at least, I don't think I was," he said hastily. "Besides, I was always drunk whenever I'd-,"

"You spoke of it often enough for it to be important," Sarevok interrupted, tilting his head curiously. "You spoke of laying with another like you did with me, but sharing mind and heart as well as body. That's what you said."

"...Yes," Kaaras nodded, frowning, "but-,"

"And now I am here," Sarevok smiled, pressing close, but Kaaras planted both hands on the broad chest and used his leverage against the wall to push back.

"No," Kaaras shook his head, breathing rapidly. "Sarevok, I never intended to mislead you, but I'm not- It's not like  _that_ , between us."

"It can be now," Sarevok replied urgently, covering both of Kaaras' hands with his. "Now I understand what you need."

Echoes of a similar conversation with Bull flitted through Kaaras' mind, tugging at him painfully. "Sarevok- My friend, I am sorry, but I do not love you."

"You do," Sarevok snorted, his expression souring. "Or do you not remember how you've touched me, whispered to me,  _only_ me, through the years?"

"Maybe- Perhaps when I was still young, fresh from the farms," Kaaras admitted, "I- I loved you, yes. Experience and maturity, they taught me-,"

 " _I_  taught you," Sarevok growled, fisting his hands around Kaaras'. "I gave you everything I could, and now I can give you this, too. Do you not-,"

"No! I- I did, but I love another." Kaaras' chest tightened as he watched the horrified understanding cross his beloved friend's face. Seconds later he grunted as he was shoved into the wall as Sarevok stomped past him and toward the hall. Quickly he straightened and ran after the other Qunari. "Wait!"

"I didn't think this human love was supposed to  _hurt_ ," Sarevok seethed, batting away Kaaras' attempts to slow him. 

"It isn't," Kaaras insisted, "but I- It's just-,"

"I'm too late," Sarevok shot back flatly.

There was so many things trying to escape Kaaras' lips at once, but this was something he couldn't deny. His gaze slid to the side, unable to meet the searing eyes of his mentor. "Yes."

Sarevok turned on his heel, resuming his march toward the exit, and Kaaras raced after him.

"Sarevok, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry for what?" the Qunari shot back, glaring over his shoulder. "Sorry you've  _changed_ me? Because you  _have_ , little Adaar. I am no longer like the other Tal-Vashoth, but neither am I like  _you_ who can freely associate with other races, and all I have for it is this- this strange pain in my chest."

Kaaras halted, teetering at the top of the long stone steps as he watched Sarevok's retreating back grow smaller. He should run after him, say something, try to apologise again- but his feet wouldn't move, hands curled into fists at his side as he watched Sarevok mount an already saddled horse and ride to the gate. There was no pause, no last attempt to reconcile or ask or even say goodbye- Sarevok disappeared in the time between two breaths, leaving Kaaras feeling weakened and sick.

"I can't do anything."

Kaaras started, blinking down at Cole, who was pressed to his side, wide eyes staring up at him knowingly. 

"You're torn, two ways, two roads, but you're already on this path. You didn't know, but you can't fix the pain. You don't  _want_ to go back, but you feel like you _should_."

Kaaras swallowed his immediate anger- he disliked Cole poking around in everyone's heads, but he meant no ill by it- and instead rubbed the spirit's back in small circles. 

"I want to help, but..  _Can_ I help?"

"I'm afraid not, Cole."

"I'm sorry."

They stood there for some time, Kaaras' emotions achored by Cole's silent presence. Finally aware of the whispers directed at his back, he turned and marched back toward his suite, slamming the alcove door in a clear warning to not disturb him.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

The fourth glass splintered against the back of the fireplace wall, the sharp snap echoing about the room soothing Kaaras' rage, even if just for a moment. At this rate, he would run out of the fancy ware Josephine had so carefully arranged in the corner cabinet, but it was better than the several alternatives he'd thought of. Bellowing at the mountains would only frighten the livestock. And his advisors, presumably. Not that Kaaras cared much about that in this moment.

Snarling, he pitched the fifth glass at the fire, eyes closing as he savoured the broken tinkling.

"Bad wine?"

Kaaras cut a sharp glance at Bull, barely keeping his anger from spouting the string of curses he was keeping in check. "Now is  _not_ the time."

Bull's brows raised. "I see that." 

"Good." Kaaras rolled a shoulder, itching to pick up the last glass, then frowned when Bull sauntered past him toward the bed. "I said, I am  _not_ in the mood."

"Noted," Bull replied in the same low tone. "Why don't you save your last one until after we've talked?"

"We are not- Wait." Kaaras pivoted, running a tired hand over his face. "You heard, didn't you?"

"Heard enough," Bull shrugged, appearing so nonchalant Kaaras had the irrational urge to scream at him. "Cole filled in the rest. He wanted to help but said he couldn't, so he told me what he thought of the situation."

"Fantastic," Kaaras muttered, turning to grip the glass and heft it into the fire, pausing when a warm hand covered his. Damn, Bull could move too quietly for being as big as he was.

"Save it. C'mere." Gently the glass was removed from his grip as Bull led him toward the bed, but Kaaras dug in his feet, yanking his hand away.

"No! We can't talk about this, you don't understand," he fumed, pacing the length of the bed as Bull sat again.

"Why not?"

"When Tal-Vashoth look at me, they see me as human. Something alien, something  _not right_. Humans, they see Qunari. Easy enough to just judge by appearance, they seem  _obsessed_ with it. And Qunari-  _you_ \- just see Tal-Vashoth. Everyone here at Skyhold and beyond? They only want to see the Herald of Andraste. But you know what? I'm  _none_ of those!"

Bull tilted his head. "Then what?" 

The pain from earlier returned, bleeding through the anger, and Kaaras hunched his shoulders as he crossed his arms defensively. "I was happy being who I was, back on the farm, with just my family. Once I left home, I- I had to change, and grow. But I couldn't be me, the naked and defenseless and scared farmboy in a too-large body, except around Sarevok. Although he didn't understand my human customs, he didn't care. But now look at what  _that's_  done. I've  _hurt_ him."

Kaaras gestured widely, pacing again. "And now, looking back, I can't find  _me_ out from under all those titles and labels. I have nothing to show for it except-," He trailed off, collapsing onto the bed next to Bull. "Nothing."

A large hand covered his, twining their fingers together. "Nothing, kadan?"

Kaaras' eyes closed, shame flooding him. "No. No, that's not- what I meant. I don't know what I mean, exactly, but not-," He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm babbling now."

"Then let me speak for a moment," Bull rumbled, squeezing Kaaras' hand while he waited for the slight nod. "You do not have a  _human_ mind; it's just yours, the sum of everything you've experienced in life so far. What you've done is given your friend a gift, an opportunity he never would've had otherwise. You're a damn fine teacher, and you-," Bull ducked his head, resting his chin on Kaaras' shoulder, "-you make it so easy to love you."

Kaaras huffed, reaching up with his free hand to stroke the curve of Bull's neck. "Are we still talking about Sarevok?"

"Yes, and no," Bull laughed. "Trust me, kadan. Your friend will hurt, he will heal, and he will love again. Because of you. Would you take that away?"

"No," Kaaras replied immediately, shaking his head. "I just wish-,"

"You didn't hurt him in the process, yeah." 

They sat in companionable silence for a time, sharing gentle touches and looks. Kaaras traced the line of Bull's face with a hand, marveling at how soft his lover's expression became. Bull was all hard angles and booming voice, but here in the quiet of his room, Kaaras found a different person under the rough exterior and rough play. Not for the first time, he selfishly wondered if he was the first to see these softer smiles and too-bright eye. Before he could think, his mouth was moving.

"Are you implying I taught you this too?"

Bull's smile widened as he shifted, stretching to bite at the line of muscle on top of Kaaras' shoulder. "Mmhm."

Kaaras huffed, amused. "I didn't think there was anything  _I_ could teach  _you_. You know everything."

"Good, you're supposed to think that," Bull teased, sliding his mouth up to Kaaras' throat, his words hot against sensitive skin. "But this heart-mind-body business? New to me."

"Oh. You heard that, too," Kaaras muttered, then yelped when Bull pushed him back, falling on top of him. "Really, Bull, how are you so good at sneak-  _ahhh_." A firm hand sliding down his stomach stole his words and he smiled to himself; while Bull always spoke easily and to the point, Kaaras had quickly learned he'd rather  _do_  than  _say_. 

"What was that?" Bull smirked, pulling back slightly, and Kaaras wrapped his arms around the wide shoulders to keep him close.

"Not important," Kaaras replied breathlessly, digging his fingers into the leathery skin as their lips met. Nothing was as important as Bull's hard mouth and hard teeth, biting at his lips and tongue as if to devour him. His worry began to retreat, locked away in a safe place for later, layered under the insistent touches and hurried whispers when their lips separated. This was what he needed, even if he still felt a bit selfish as he drank in Bull's affection and pushed Sarevok further from his conscious. The regret was lost beneath a strong sense of belonging.

He broke another hungry kiss with a gasp as a warm hand pressed against his cock, already half hard and straining in his too-tight trousers. Kaaras had  _fumed_ about the impractical finery Josephine had given him for regular wear in Skyhold, until Bull had grinned and palmed him through the thin material with several lewd comments. The only trouble with it was how quickly Bull ruined the pants in his usual hurry to disrobe him- which didn't bother Kaaras in the least, but threw his ambassador into fits.

As the pants were yanked down his hips, Kaaras reflexively raised his hands over his head, locking his wrists together. The practised supine position sparked a new knot of arousal in his stomach, his erection thickening in anticipation. To his surprise, after Bull had shucked his pants and thrown them wildly to the floor, he gently grasped Kaaras' wrists and brought them down.

"Not today," Bull murmured at Kaaras' confused look, leaning down to press another hot kiss to the rogue's chin. "Partly because  _so many buttons._ "

Kaaras burst into laughter, resting his head back as he felt up to his throat, where the long line of buttons trailed down his chest. Bull was being overly careful today, but he wouldn't comment. It was wonderful, actually, to have so little to worry over and put all his energy into the moment. Frantically they popped the buttons loose, their hands meeting halfway and tangling as Bull leaned over for another nip at Kaaras' mouth.

"Affectionate today," Kaaras whispered, closing his eyes as he wrestled his arms out of the clinging shirt. He felt a soft sigh at his cheek before Bull rubbed their foreheads together.

"I know what you need, kadan."

"How?" Kaaras peeked up at him, spreading his thighs wide so he could drag Bull closer. When their cocks met and slid together, they both groaned. "How do you know?"

"Why do you keep asking me when you know the answer?" Bull smirked, ducking the lazy punch Kaaras swung at him. He gripped the rogue's sides and slid forward, grinding their trapped erections along their stomachs, sharing another wheezed moan. 

"I d- don't believe it's the whole t- truth," Kaaras stuttered, his hands hovering a few seconds before locking around Bull's neck. It was rare to have his hands free; he loved being able to touch Bull as much as he wanted right now. He drew his hands down Bull's broad back, arching when Bull thrust again, raking his nails in long lines up to the wide shoulders. Bull shuddered above him, his teasing smile lost in a twist of pleasure. "I w-want you to lose yourself in me."

"You make it too easy," Bull groaned, slanting his hips so he could grip both their cocks in one hand. "Too easy to read, kadan."

"You're j- just too good," Kaaras snorted, curling his hands into claws and digging into the hard flesh of Bull's back. The hot hand circling them had  _just_ enough pressure to heighten his lust without any satisfaction, especially when Bull's thumb swiped their damp heads after every pump. "Just forget it a- and get on with it!"

Bull barked a laugh, triumph shining in his eye as he leaned back, slowly stroking their cocks as he looked the rogue over. "The second I get my hands on you, you stutter. Every time."

Kaaras felt his face flush deeper, eyes narrowing as he returned the stare. "So?"

"It's..." Bull tilted his head, his hand stilling for a moment. 

"You mind your next words," Kaaras growled playfully, flicking one leg up to rub along Bull's back. He waited, surprised to see Bull taking time to contemplate.

"...I like it," Bull finally replied, poking one of Kaaras' arms before pointing to the bedside table. 

Kaaras twisted, pawing blindly at the table before he found the small jar of oil. He tossed it to Bull, then rested back. "You like it," he parroted flatly. "Well, I  _don't_. I sound like s- some inexperienced schoolboy."

Bull chuckled, wrestling with opening the jar one-handed. "I'll keep your secret, kadan."

"Better," Kaaras muttered, then gasped when he felt the hand on his cock move lower, stroking the span of silky skin just before reaching his clenching asshole. "Or I'll... I'll- Oh  _fuck_ , Bull, hurry up."

"Leave you untied and you get all  _bossy_ on me," Bull snorted, smacking the thigh riding up his side. 

Kaaras grinned, a bright challenge which faltered when he felt warm, slick fingers circling the puckered skin. As many times as they had had sex- Kaaras had lost count months ago- Bull became so slow and methodical at this exact moment. Kaaras had marked it down to Bull having to be careful with those smaller than him, but even after several physically intense times together, Bull still carefully prepared him and  _nothing_ would make him go faster- a torture all it's own, now that Kaaras was more than used to Bull's large girth.

Still, it was worth a try.

" _Please_ ," Kaaras whined, spreading his legs further as he tried to grind down on the two fingers winding inside. "Please, Bull,  _more. Now_."

"Begging already?" Bull huffed, leaning over to press a sloppy kiss to the swollen head laying along Kaaras' stomach. "Patience, kadan. It makes it all the sweeter, you know."

Kaaras sighed, his horns digging into the cascade of pillows as he relaxed. "I don't want slow. I want to f- feel you. I w- want to  _burn_."

"You will," Bull promised, hunching further to place a line of bites along the canted thigh. "But only with pleasure, not pain."

Kaaras nodded, eyes fluttering closed as he forced himself to stop twitching. He had shied away from the initial implication Bull would hurt him if he wanted; he'd never handled pain well, and he'd hesitantly explained it cut all pleasure for him. Rough play was fine, but if it edged into true pain, it killed everything good. Perhaps... Perhaps that was why Bull was always so gentle with him at first? He wasn't delicate, and his body had easily adjusted to,  _ahem_ , regular use, so maybe he should-

The fingers inside him twisted  _just so_  and pleasure raced through his body, stealing his breath. "M- Maker!" he gasped shallowly, eyes flying open to find Bull's sly smile.

"Pay attention, kadan," Bull said quietly. "Stay here, with me."

"Yes," Kaaras panted, nodding rapidly. "Are you- Are- I- I think I'm-,"

"Mmmm." The fingers spread, a tight pinch of lust making Kaaras' cock throb. "Heh, I think so, too."

Pleas ran together as Bull's fingers withdrew, shifted them both and hitching Kaaras' legs higher around his waist as he wriggled forward. As much as he complained, Kaaras loved this moment, the taut anticipation stretching for a moment until he felt the hot, wet head nudging at his entrance. He couldn't keep still any longer, using his leverage with his feet to scoot closer to Bull, trying to impale himself faster- and to his surprise, Bull let him. The long, slicked shaft slid in easily, just as it always had, and the immediate sensation of feeling so full made him cry out. 

"That's it," Bull growled, his hands planting on Kaaras' side as he pulled back, then slammed forward. " _Yeaaaah_ , that's it."

All coherent thought was lost once Bull finally got started. Kaaras slurred curses and praises, clawing desperately at Bull's flexing arms as they rocked together in an unhurried pace. This was... different than anything they'd done so far, more  _open_ somehow. Kaaras felt more bared than he had that time Bull had driven him into a sweating, sobbing mess by denying him release most of the night. He glanced up, staring at Bull's swinging eye above him, unable to read the glint there and unable to ask.

Instead, he lost himself to feeling: the way Bull's hips snapped at the end of every thrust, driving him deeper; the knowledgeable hands playing across his body, tweaking his nipples and tracing scars; the searing kisses occasionally shared, all tongue and teeth and foggy moans. Their bodies synced instinctively, previous experience guiding their hands and mouths as Bull slowly, brutally pounded into him. As much as Kaaras wanted to reach that peak, he was just as happy on the gradual climb there, smirking every time Bull shouted his name or an intelligible curse. 

And best of all, Bull unraveled as quickly as he, lust twisting his grin as he kept diving forward for more kisses and bites. Kaaras could feel the insatiable edge to Bull's movements, trying desperately to give as much as he was getting- and succeeding, if Bull's hoarse cries and scratching nails were any indication.

Kaaras wanted to ride the upward swing forever, his body tense and trembling as he clung to his lover, begging for him to stop and  _more more_ in the same breath. He jerked when he felt a hand snake between them, lightly gripping his damp head to stroke insistently.

"Burnin' yet?" Bull grinned, pressing his nose to Kaaras' jaw.

" _Yespleaseplease more- m- mark me,_ take _\- take me_ more  _almost-!_ "

"Fuck," Bull growled, dipping his head further to bite at Kaaras' throat. "Th'  _way_ you beg, so filthy."

An arm curled under Kaaras' head, pillowing it as Bull lifted his head to press their lips together again, slanting their mouths just right to plunge his tongue inside in a lewd mimicry of his thrusts. Kaaras whimpered, muffled, as Bull's hips finally pistoned faster, the slick hand around his cock tightening. Pleasure crested and broke, Kaaras' cock twitching with release in the firm grip, keening against Bull's lips as his nails sank into flesh. Seconds later, Bull pressed their foreheads together as he snarled, body snapping twice more before he stayed buried in his lover, shuddering with each pulse.

When Kaaras could catch enough breath to talk, he began chuckling as he pressed light kisses across Bull's face. Bull blinked down at him hazily, one arm giving out and rolling them at a slight angle, his cock spasming once more before beginning the slow slide out. Kaaras groaned at the loss, hooking his leg over Bull's to delay it.

A damp hand reached up, resting along Kaaras' neck and massaging gently. "How are you, kadan?"

Kaaras smiled, eyes drifting halfway shut. No matter how exhausted they were, Bull always asked after him when they were finished. Yet another quirk of his lover's that he adored. "Wonderful. You?"

"Better than," Bull snorted, grinning. "Got that burn you wanted?"

Kaaras shifted slightly, smiling at the slight ache in his lower back. "Perfect."

"Good, good." 

Kaaras watched Bull nestle his face into his shoulder- his exceptionally wide horns prevented him from ever laying on his side, but he could certainly lay on top of him- marveling at the softened expression again. Likely it mirrored his own, he mused, his eyes slipping closed until he felt Bull shift once more.

"I know what you need because-," Bull faltered, raising himself on one elbow to stare down at Kaaras, mouth set in a serious line. "It's- like I said, it's just... easy." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Because what you need, is what  _I_  need."

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Epilogue: Eight months later

_My dear brother Kaaras,_

_Your last letter was entirely too short! Are you very busy? I listen to every bit of gossip about your Inquisition, and if you do half the things I hear I wonder if you ever sleep. Make sure you tell your man that your sister commands him to take care of you. I'm certain he's doing a wonderful job in my stead, but you know how I worry. I haven't met him yet, after all, and who's fault is that? Hmm? Hmm!_

_Mama has recovered from her cough. The herbs you sent were amazing! They cleared up the cough within a day of drinking the tea, and we dried out the rest to keep for the coming winter. You know how papa gets sick in late winter every year now. It's his own damn fault, though, he thinks he's still half his age and insists on working in the snow._

_But now to the exciting news! Your little sister is getting married once the crystal grace blooms after the snow, so you'd best finish up saving the world before then. I refuse to be married without you there, so don't make me delay my life just because you're having fun up there in the mountains! I can just imagine your face right now, brother! Maybe you've thrown my letter to the desk and began ranting about what frivolous copperless skirtchaser has stolen my heart, but fear not. You already know him and have spoken highly of him for years! Your friend Sarevok stopped at our farm on his way back from visiting you earlier this year, just when papa had broken his arm, and volunteered to stay and help us for a time. The poor fish had no clue how to farm and mama and I spent several months teaching him out in the garden and fields. He's a natural with the livestock, we've had to build a new pen for the horses due to so many new births!_

_You know, Sarevok seemed upset when he arrived, and even now he will only say you and he had a petty fight before he left. Dear brother, what did you say to my sweetheart? You two have always been so close, I hate to think there is something between you. Will you write him? When I told him I was writing to you, he asked me to beg your forgiveness for him, and listening between his words I know he desperately wants your approval for our union. Of course, you know I will do as I please, but it would ease his mind greatly._

_Whatever happened, I am so happy it sent him to us just when we needed him. I am very much in love, and he with me. I have never met a gentler and wiser man in all my travels. He dotes on me constantly, and after all this time he's still so quiet and sweet, and treats me as nice as you always have. Probably nicer! Papa has taken to calling him 'son', and mama is so happy to have a big Qunari around again to carry all the produce to market. We have already bought land next to papa's farm to build a home! Please please please come visit soon, and write even sooner than that! I miss you more than I could ever write with words. Keep yourself and your man and your friends safe!_

_With all my love,_

_Your little Petunia_

**Author's Note:**

> This is unedited; if you spot errors or clumsy wording, please let me know! Thank you!
> 
> And a Kudos to you if you got the tiny Baldur's Gate name reference. ❤


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